Now, I don't normally think of myself as a whiner, but allow me to indulge my pity-seeking side for just a moment.

1. I am sick. Bleh. What the heck?! Last week I was throwing up and now I have an incessant cold. Colds typically aren't that bad but this one is quite "sinusy" and is making my teeth and eyes ache. I rarely got moderately sick as a child. It was either healthy or hospital for me.

I have a couple of theories as to why I am now getting sick. The first is that my diet has decayed to the consumption of cereal bars and bananas only. Another possibility may be that I am sleeping... poorly. But my most promising hypothesis is that I have a deep subconscious desire to be sick.

When one is sick, it gives them a reason / excuse for the way they are. While I was growing within my mother I found comfort in developing a cleft palate. After some time I grew tired of the cleft and began repairs. The only remaining sign of it's existence is a deviated septum.

Deviated septum ~ sinus congestion.

~ = is like
= = =
= != ~

Anyway, I've been just a little self conscious of my nasally voice recently and am considering the possibility that my psyche is sabotaging my immune system in order to cover my embarrassment. The game is up... you... psyche...

2. Ahem, I do believe I just got a little carried away with that last one. My other gripe is that I have lost my lone belt. I know I had it before I left for Thanksgiving break but spent a good half an hour looking for it this morning.

I fantasized for a few minutes about somebody stealing it, but I'm not quite sure about the likelihood of such an occurrence. I mean, it's the only thing I seem to be missing. If someone were to break into my room, there are much more interesting things to take:

Computer
Gola sneakers
SSN
Sledge hoody
Vanilla yogurt bars
Passport
Ear plugs
Etc, etc... (was this a bad move, btw? is anyone going to try and take these items now that they know they are there? um... you know, I made most of them up anyway... and besides, they are guarded by machine gun cyborgs toting heat sensors...)

So I wore no belt to work today. I feel quite foolish because I always think bad things about boys who don't wear belts with their slacks. No one seems to have noticed yet but the office was pretty empty when I slipped in. In mere minutes I will attempt an escape.

Zero: Now remember Snake, this is a stealth mission. You must rescue Sokolov without leaving any evidence to your existence in Russia.